Trust

Birthdays are something special, especially in the Christian faith. When we celebrate Jesus’ birth, through stories and traditions, we also explore and challenge our faith.
Recently, I celebrated my 19th birthday. In the weeks leading up to it, I took the time to prepare something that would be enjoyable for my friends and me. Preparation is important- it makes the moment more special when it arrives. Noah prepared for the great flood by building the ark. Mary and Joseph prepared as best they could for the coming of their son Jesus Christ, in the stable. I took the time to create what should have been a wonderful party.
However on the night of my birthday, one of my friend’s wallets was stolen. It was frightening and left me feeling very upset and broken inside. A huge part of my faith is, as God tells us, “thou shall not steal.” My values had been betrayed and I felt I could never trust anyone or have them trust me.
The bible speaks about how Jesus’ friend Judas betrayed him before Jesus was crucified. At Jesus’ last supper, Judas left, as did some of the girls at my party. Both of these events were suppose to be something special and memorable. Even though Jesus’ experience of betrayal was huge compared to mine, I felt like I could relate to it. I too was left behind, betrayed, and shattered by people who I thought were my friends. Jesus experienced much of the same feelings; however, he forgave and still forgives others for what they do. I know I do too, but it’s really hard to rebuild trust with someone who steals and betrays.
Of course I won’t forget my party, but when I think about my birthday, it hurts inside. Betrayal leaves damage behind that takes time to heal. Time to figure out how to “Forgive and forget” (as sung in the Dixie Chicks song, “I’m Not Ready to Make Nice).
My special night did still have some sparkling moments of fun, excitement, and love. Perhaps what I needed to begin healing came in the form of the gifts. One present I received reminded me of the birth of our holy one- a yellow shawl that sparkled with silver. Wearing the shawl, I felt comforted by its peace and warmth. Just like wrapping babies at birth has them feeling welcomed into a life of love, my shawl comforts me.
Following my birthday ordeal with the stolen wallet, there was little I could do but put my worries and pain into the hands of God. I had to trust God. Even as a young woman with a strong faith in God, I was scared to trust the Lord. It was a test of my faith. Perhaps, though, with all of our deepest struggles, all we can do is trust God.
- Jessica Baird
(I would like to give great thanks for my wonderful friends…especially Mandy. God loves you, as do I)