Things that I Have Learned

Summer is over. I am currently on a plane somewhere over Saskatchewan . I have only had an hour’s sleep in the past thirty seven hours. So I may be slightly nuts. But somewhere in me I know that as soon as this plane hits the ground, my summer will be officially over. My roommate has moved in this week while I have been in Ontario (at Kairos with Nico). I only have this weekend before school starts. And I only have this airplane ride before real life starts again. Putting my life into perspective, these are some of the things I have learned this summer:
I have learned that you can only change so much. At a certain point you have to learn to be happy with you who are and stop trying to change into the person you want to be. I have always been a firm believer that people can change, and that there is no limit on the change that a person could enact within themselves. I am realizing that this isn’t true. There is a part of me saying I am simply giving up on this ideal because I can’t do it, I can’t become who I wanted to be. But the rest of me is saying that this is a maturing into myself, into learning to like who I am now rather than who I could be.
I have learned to choose my friends wisely. I have learned that I can do better than following someone around. I have learned that I deserve someone who likes me all the time rather than when it suits them. This summer I have found the best friends in those whom I least expected too. I have made many good friends this summer. And I made a couple of bad decisions in who to hang out with. But ultimately I learned that a really good friend is the best thing you can find.
I have learned to make mistakes and to find the wisdom in them. I have learned everyone makes mistakes, everyone makes bad choices, but we need to move from them. I have learned to find the wisdom and the holy in the mistakes that I have made.
Now I must find where to go from here. I must learn to let go of my summer without forgetting these things I know now. I have to find a way to move on with my life after my plane lands. Because all I want to do is put my life on hold for a day or a week or a month, but I know I can’t do this. Life always moves forward. And I have no idea how to do this. But I have half and hour before we hit the ground and so maybe (just maybe) by then I will figure it out. -Kathleen Kerr